David Letterman

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
David Letterman

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.
David Letterman

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?
David Letterman

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
David Letterman

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
David Letterman

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
David Letterman

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
David Letterman

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
David Letterman

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
David Letterman

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
David Letterman

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
David Letterman

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
David Letterman

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
David Letterman

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
David Letterman

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
David Letterman

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
David Letterman

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
David Letterman

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.
David Letterman

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.
David Letterman

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
David Letterman

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
David Letterman

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.
David Letterman

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
David Letterman

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
David Letterman

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.
David Letterman

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
David Letterman

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
David Letterman

There is no off position on the genius switch.
David Letterman

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
David Letterman

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
David Letterman

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
David Letterman

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
David Letterman

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.
David Letterman

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.
David Letterman

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
David Letterman

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.
David Letterman

Shannen Doherty

All my fans tell me what a glamorous life I have, but I tell them how hard I work and how many nights I spend alone with my dogs, eating chicken pot pie in my bedroom.
Shannen Doherty

Everybody deserves a second chance in this world. That's basically all I ask.
Shannen Doherty

Five minutes before I went on, I looked at my manager and said, I'm going to get booed. I know it's going to happen. And you're responsible because you put me on here. It was horrible. I've never been more hurt in my entire life.
Shannen Doherty

For a while I couldn't leave the house by myself. Even if I was just grocery shopping alone, I'd get self-conscious.
Shannen Doherty

Have you ever felt like a phone call that's been disconnected?
Shannen Doherty

I can't stand unpacking.
Shannen Doherty

I definitely lived my life like I wasn't in the public eye.
Shannen Doherty

I don't think you should do things in your personal life differently because you're a role model.
Shannen Doherty

I have never had anything done. I've been asked if I had breast implants. Whether I did or not, it's nobody's business but my own.
Shannen Doherty

I met Ashley two weeks before I married him. It was a joke-the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. Once I was married, I didn't want to be a failure, so I stuck it out for six months, which was about six months too long.
Shannen Doherty

I realize it's probably best to keep my politics to myself.
Shannen Doherty

I realize that the majority of people in the entertainment business happen to be Democrats. I have no problem with that. And they should have no problem with the fact that I'm a Republican.
Shannen Doherty

I still get nervous on dates. I'll be sitting at dinner with a guy and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I can't breathe.
Shannen Doherty

I'm a conservative. I was an avid supporter of Ronald Reagan; I thought he was fabulous.
Shannen Doherty

I'm from the South. I'm a Southern Baptist. I have a conservative point of view. I'm a Republican.
Shannen Doherty

I'm not a violent person and I don't hit people.
Shannen Doherty

If God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie?
Shannen Doherty

If I kind of like a guy, then I'm a fantastic flirt. But with a guy I truly like, I get painfully shy.
Shannen Doherty

If somebody wants to have plastic surgery, more power to them. I think there's a point where you go overboard.
Shannen Doherty

My inner child is not wounded.
Shannen Doherty

That's something I go through every day - you know - Am I good enough to act?
Shannen Doherty

There's not one cast member of 90210 who didn't throw a tantrum to two themselves.
Shannen Doherty

This is a free country, and nobody should be criticized for their political beliefs. We're all allowed to have our opinions.
Shannen Doherty

To be a bitch or not to be a bitch, that is the question.
Shannen Doherty

Whenever I get frustrated, I tell myself, you could be working at a 7-Eleven right now, so never take for granted what you do for a living.
Shannen Doherty

You just have to keep believing in yourself.
Shannen Doherty

Your life changes. Everything has to be done perfectly, and I didn't follow that. I lived my life as if I wasn't in the public eye. I thought, 'I'm young. I have the right to experience new things, and if I want to go to a bar and get drunk, that's my prerogative.'
Shannen Doherty

David Cassidy

For me to go back and to play for audiences some of whom have been following me for thirty years and some who have found me in the last five or six years, that's really an interesting thing. I have an audience that goes from kids to seventy year olds.
David Cassidy

I don't play nostalgia acts. I don't play nostalgia shows.
David Cassidy

I have an audience that goes from kids to seventy year olds.
David Cassidy

I've been able to go on and have a successful career on Broadway and certainly the last five years in Las Vegas have been amazing.
David Cassidy

In California, of all places, entertainment is the key to a vibrant economy. If we do not develop young adults capable of entering that world, the financial base of this state is sure to suffer and impact all of us.
David Cassidy

It's been the work that has carried me and I never wanted to rest on my laurels or go back and do what I done before.
David Cassidy

It's not about the fame and the money because if you do good work all that stuff comes.
David Cassidy

My life has flourished in so many ways both personally and professionally that I can't ask for a better life.
David Cassidy

Dixie Carter

Certainly if we hope do enhance and extend whatever natural assets we were given, we must expect to make an effort, if not actually great labor.
Dixie Carter

I have never met a happy atheist. I believe in separation of church and state, but I think we have gone so far over in the other direction of separating church and state.
Dixie Carter

It takes a mighty good man to be better than no man at all.
Dixie Carter

Learning can take place in the backyard if there is a human being there who cares about the child. Before learning computers, children should learn to read first. They should sit around the dinner table and hear what their parents have to say and think.
Dixie Carter

We don't have the family organization the way we used to. My father lives with us because we have the room. The greatest of all opportunities for our children is a complete family unit.
Dixie Carter

You have to take a huge loss financially to do a play. You have to put aside the commercials and the speeches and the other things that put money on the table, and really save up to do it. And that's what I've done here. But it's worth it to me to be in a really good play.
Dixie Carter

James Garner

Everybody wants blockbusters. I like to see a few pictures now and then that have to do with people and have relationships, and that's what I want to do films about. I don't want to see these sci-fi movies, and I don't want to do one of those. I don't understand it.
James Garner

I saw my wife at a pool, flipped over her, and 14 days later we were married.
James Garner

When I started working, I didn't have a clue what I was doing, in that I was just wandering around, hoping that I could succeed. Then after I got a little under my belt, it took me about 25 years to feel like I knew what I was doing.
James Garner

Steven Seagal

I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.
Steven Seagal

I was born with a serious spiritual consciousness and for many years studied different paths.
Steven Seagal

It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's friend's neighbor's pet dog. You've got to make the stakes high.
Steven Seagal

Try to find the path of least resistance and use it without harming others. Live with integrity and morality, not only with people but with all beings.
Steven Seagal


I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.
Steven Seagal

I was born with a serious spiritual consciousness and for many years studied different paths.
Steven Seagal

It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's friend's neighbor's pet dog. You've got to make the stakes high.
Steven Seagal

Try to find the path of least resistance and use it without harming others. Live with integrity and morality, not only with people but with all beings.
Steven Seagal

Dennis Quaid

I can't hit a ball more than 200 yards. I have no butt. You need a butt if you're going to hit a golf ball.
Dennis Quaid

I could never hold a job for more than three months, which works out well because that's how long a movie shoots.
Dennis Quaid

I have a resistance to change in things that I feel comfortable with and that I'm used to.
Dennis Quaid

I love acting and making your own luck. You have to recreate yourself, I guess. Although, I don't know how.
Dennis Quaid

I want to work with great people. Great people really make you better.
Dennis Quaid

I was made to be a perfectionist at everything I did. Everything was more important than what I wanted.
Dennis Quaid

I've done so many movies that when I see them I don't really watch them.
Dennis Quaid

If you're going to stick around in this business, you have to have the ability to reinvent yourself, whether consciously or unconsciously.
Dennis Quaid

My interpretation of a strong director is someone who knows their story. That's what directors are, they're storytellers because they're directing where your focus is going to be as an audience.
Dennis Quaid

Sometimes in movies, I still have to be the hero, but it's not all that important to me anymore.
Dennis Quaid

That's what is great about what I do, going from one job to the other.
Dennis Quaid

There's no way that I could do a 9 to 5 job. There's no way. I was not cut out for that. You come in and you work for three months on the one job. They say, 'Great,' you know, and you're on to the next one - and you never even got fired. It's wonderful.
Dennis Quaid

What, like I want to look like Dick Clark? No. I think I look great with liver spots.
Dennis Quaid

When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It's like death.
Dennis Quaid

You don't have to be alone with your thoughts anymore. You don't have to process anything. You can call up someone to do something to instantly make you sort of feel better.
Dennis Quaid