A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Mark Twain
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
Mark Twain
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Mark Twain
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Mark Twain
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
Mark Twain
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
Mark Twain
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain